Keep Your Marriage Strong When The Dream is a Struggle

You can be married and still keep your dream alive, but it’s going to take communication and some effort. I met my wife having big dreams. Its who I was when she met me but times change and so do your responsibilities with time. People rarely talk about keeping a big dream alive when you have a spouse that will feel the pain of the struggle. It’s easy to grind when you only have to worry about yourself. If you are going to do it while married, you need to get some things right.

When I say chasing a big dream, I mean trying to do anything more significant than what you currently are doing. When you get married, it’s effortless to settle into a comfortable spot and do the same thing repeatedly. You can lose your drive to move forward. You lose your fire for your spouse,

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Financials

The biggest reason people get divorced is over money issues. The most common of these issues is when one person wants to enjoy life right now, and the other saves money to invest it into a business that always seems to need more cash.

One person preaches that it takes money to make money, while the other is pissed because they see their family and friends on Instagram having great vacations. You say that you are saving and investing, but the money seems to get sucked up.

There are a few things you have to do to make sure you are on the same page.

• Have those tough conversations
• No lying about money
• Try and understand the other perspective

I have failed with businesses before, so when I “invest” money, I get why my wife would worry that I am wasting my time and money. At the same time, I know that I have learned more and gained more from failing than I have from not trying. I have gotten great jobs from trying and failing. Not trying does nothing for you. Both of these perspectives matter, and you need to try and see the other side.

Having honest conversations about money and its role in building and funding businesses is essential. Every successful business had to make sacrifices at some point. People always sacrifice time or money, and sometimes both to get a business off the ground. You can’t get to wealth without going through grind first. Not all people are cut out to endure this. Only having these hard conversatins will reveal this.

Sacrifice

You have to give something up to gain something. There is no way around this. When I met my wife, it was the Olympic year, so I was training my butt, so she met me sacrificing a lot. To this day, she still has a hard time with how much I give up. She wants me to get a new pair of jeans. And I am like hell no because that is money that can be invested in Habit Stacker. That is tougher to swallow when she feels like its money could be used on the kids or other things. This gets even worse when you are making good money and still putting it back into your company.

If you want to build great things and have a life that few others can live, you have to do something that most people will not do. One of those things is making sacrifices with your time. I get up at 3:10 AM so that I can have time alone to work while my wife is still sleeping. It helps her to feel like I don’t just work all of the time. That was my solution to keep the dream alive. You guys have to talk until you find your sacrifice.

Paint The Vision

One big reason your spouse may not be on board is that you have not done a great job painting the future picture. You have to sell your spouse on the vision, just like you would an investor. If they don’t believe it or see, they need to decide at least not to get in the way.

I would not say my wife always believes in my dreams, and that is ok. I have big dreams, and I have accepted that, but she does not get in the way, and that means a lot to me. Getting in the way of the dream is what causes problems.

Make sure that your spouse at the least knows you are working towards something that is going to be a long term commitment. You have to make sure she knows that this is not a 2-3 day project. It will not make you rich by next year. It may even be a few decades, and they need to be ok with that.

Put In The Work

The only way your spouse will ever believe in the vision is if you GRIND! You have to be consistent and show up and put in the work. If you don’t, your vision is all talk and no action. The best way to prove this is by building sickening habits.

Every day my wife sees who I am by my daily actions, which I have turned into habits. I wake up early, and I stay hydrated, I work out and eat well to keep my energy levels high. She sees me read and do everything I can to keep learning. But most of all, she sees progress, and she sees me working my tail off to make the vision I sold her a reality.

Don’t Neglect

You can make sacrifices, but it can’t become neglect. If you have a wife and kids, they still have needs that need to be met. Everyone has a different love language, which would be an excellent time to learn it and try your best to use that loved language daily.

I know my wife starts to feel neglected if I don’t cuddle with her. I don’t need to cuddle much, I can wake up and work until its time to sleep, but I can’t do that and its not even the most productive way to work.

You still need to have a date night here and there. You need to continually pursue each other and make sure that your spouse knows that they are number 1. Most of my drive comes from wanting to provide for my family, but I can’t lose my family chasing the dream. Then I will lose my heart, and the business will fail from losing my motivation.

Be Patient Together

None of this is going to work if either you are impatient. When I was 6 and wanted to be an Olympian, no one rushed me or pressured me. They let it take the 16 years of training that it took to make the Olympic team. That makes sense to people, but when we say it will take 15 years to build an awesome business or get good at another skill, everyone freaks out.

The best thing a family can learn to do is be patient together. Life provides plenty of things that you will have to be patient through. Job loss, health issues, stale marriages, difficulty with kids, and man other situations call for patience./

There is no magic formula for patience. When you find yourself getting impatient, you have to endure. Stick it out! Keep banging on the door until the issues are ready to leave you alone. The key thing is that your family does this as a fortified front. You have to be on the same page/

Conclusion

I hope that this article has been a blessing to you. I wrote it with nothing but love because chasing a dream is the hardest thing you will ever do. When you add a spouse into that mix, it gets exponentially harder if you are not on the same page. If you are on the same page, though, it can be beautiful to build an empire together.