When my daughter turned two, she got me excited. Everyone else complains about that age, but I noticed something extraordinary. They get labeled as the Terrible-Twos, I call it entering the relentless years. A two-year child resembles a person chasing a dream or on a mission that matters. They exhibit a level of relentlessness that is hard to find.
The words used to describe what it means to be relentless include:
These are all words that are like an obsession; it comes with a negative connotation. Few people are successful who are not relentless and obsessive. That is why the saying goes, ”everyone wants to be successful until its time to do what successful people do.”
They get labeled as the Terrible-Twos, I call it entering the relentless years. A two-year child resembles a person chasing a dream or on a mission that matters. They exhibit a level of relentlessness that is hard to find.
The Big Problem ?
What I noticed when my daughter turned two is the power struggle you face as a parent. You feel the pressure to have a “nice” child that is calm and not a brat. When you see a two-year-old throw a temper tantrum, it is the purest form of relentlessness.
In their brain, they know they want something. You are not letting them have it, and that is upsetting them, so the way they behave is by kicking and screaming. They can be upset for hours over this one thing that seems so trivial.
What most parents want is for their kids to relent, to give in and behave because it's less stressful, and that’s what society accepts. We are better off when we are malleable and controllable.
Everything Comes With Positive and Negatives
I told my wife this when our first daughter was born, and she was worried about her being stubborn. I was also a stubborn child, and I'm sure I gave my parents a few gray hairs. They wanted me to do a bunch of things that I know for a fact I wanted nothing to do with.
What is the positive of being stubborn? When I got to high school, I found it easier to stand out from the crowd and be myself. High school is full of peer pressure. I would never give in to the peer pressure to miss track practice, for example. I was too stubborn in my ways, and I wanted to be great. No one was going to steal that dream from me.
Being relentless is similar…
Success Demands You Be Relentless ?
When I see my daughter throw a temper tantrum, it sucks. Like any parent, I would love it if she stopped, but I also know that you need to feel that way about your dream. When a teacher told me that I could not go to school in the states, and I needed to be more realistic, I was relentless. Inside, I was kicking and screaming, “I WANT IT.” That was my dream, and she was not going to kill my vision.
To be successful, you have to be relentless because you will run into people who don’t believe what you are trying to do. Success requires going against the grain, and that takes strength. Society will point at you and say look they are going the wrong way.
It takes a lot of determination to want something so much that you are willing to kick and scream for it. To show that you will stop at nothing to bring the dream alive requires that you be relentless.
Don’t Kill Your Relentlessness ?
As a child, you probably had your relentless attitude tamed. Your parents wanted you to be nice; they want you to fit in, and be obedient to their demands. These things are all cute, and all done with great intentions.
Here is the truth though, the person who acts nice to make others feel comfortable all of the time achieves nothing. When you switch away from what you want and act like you don’t want it to be more realistic, you start to numb yourself.
I was talking to my friend the other day about a call center job she recently got. I asked her if she is excited and she gave me a look. Then asked her why she is doing it, and she said: “it pays well.” That is fair you need a bit of bread in your pocket to fund your dreams and pay your bills I get it.
I asked her what she wants to do, and she mentioned music. She had songs she wanted to do covers for, but she needed a guitarist to play for her. Then she complained about how no one would do it for so she had given up on that.
When you are taught that relentlessness is bad, you quit easy. When you want something, and someone does not do it, you remember when your mom told you that no is no and that is final. There is nothing you can do about it. When it comes to your parents, that may be true, but for your dreams this is horrible.
Being Relentless Means, You Find a Way ?
For a two-year-old, they don’t have all the reasoning skills yet to find a way but you do. No one is going to hand you your dream. That is ok because you are relentless. You will ask again; you will knock on another door, you will send them flowers.
To be relentless means, you insist on getting to your goal. You will harden yourself to the demands of others who wish you would shrink and go away. You become inflexible to another mission. If you want to change the world by making it easier for people to build habits like me, you become rigid. You refuse to change your mission!
Don’t stop driving forward. Get another no. Knock on another door. This is your time to shine, and no one can stop your movement. Reactivate that kid that would kick and scream because you didn’t get another grape.