Being disliked sucks! It's never anyone's intention to get as many people to hate them as possible. There are simple things you can do to change this reality and to be more likable. You must be genuine when putting these into action. People can spot a fake from a mile away so if you are doing this to manipulate people, forget about it.
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1. Like More People ?
One of the easiest ways to be liked more is to like more people. Have you ever been around someone that loves people? The type of person that can always find the good in others? Reciprocation comes very naturally to humans. When someone likes us, we feel the need to love them back without even thinking about it.
You can’t fake this though and behind their back actually, hate them. You have to find a reason to like them and find the best things about them. There will still be some people you like that may still dislike you. But for the most part, people will like you back the more you like them.
2. Spend Time With People to Be More Likeable ???
Here is such an obvious one that people refuse to listen to. My church has recently been talking about race issues a lot. As a black man, whenever white people ask what they can do to help my answer is always the same. Build relationships with people who look different and think different from you.
When you get close to someone different from you, it begins to open up your perspective. You begin to understand and empathize with others. Without relationships, this can never happen. The same lesson applies to you.
If you want to be liked, spend time with people, and build genuine relationships. It's hard to spend time with people and get to know them on a deeper level and dislike them still. To spend time with people, it requires effort on your part.
3. Compliment People ?
Out of all the items on the list, this one can come off as being the fakest if you are not careful. People tend to be suspicious, so if you’re going to compliment someone don’t ask for anything after. Compliment them and move on.
You never know when that compliment can be the thing someone needs to brighten up their day. You can't be scared to shower others with a genuine compliment. Lift peoples days up and make them feel good, and you will be sure to be more likable.
4. Listen More to Be More Likeable ?
Everyone loves to talk, but few love to listen. Be one of the few good listeners out there. Allow people to talk about themselves and become an expert at asking great questions. Always look to draw more out of others instead of wanting to get a word in.
You have all the ability to shut up and listen. When you listen to someone, you let them have a voice. You make sure that they know that they matter. Everyone in this world wants to be validated and understood.
5. Be Authentic ?
Anytime you reveal something about yourself that is a bit deeper; you build a bond with that person. You don’t want to do this on a first date or conversation. You want to build up to this point, but being authentic is key to being likable.
For example, if you try to put on a front that you are happy people will see through it. The fake smile and the fake positive attitude will make people hate you! Be who you are. Be that person you are with the people who know you the best.
When you are authentic, it’s a win-win because when people like you, they don’t want you for a fake version of yourself. They like you for who you are, and what feels good.
6. Find Commonalities ?
As humans, we have so much more in common than we have things that are different about us. The issue is that we tend to focus on the differences instead of highlighting the commonalities.
If you are meeting someone for the first time, do some social media research on them. Find out as much as you can about them and figure out what things you guys have in common.
The common ground builds likable because we like people who are like us. If you are from the same place, grew up similarly, went to the same school, it's harder to dislike that person.
7. Smile to Be More Likable ?
The power of smiling is an easy one to understand, but it’s a bit hard to put into practice. Smiling gives people a peek into your soul. If you walk around grumpy all day you make people want to be grumpy as well, and that does not feel good. People remember how you make them feel more than anything else.
Work on your smile in the mirror. I did this for a while, and I found my smile. I know what my fake smile looks like and I try never to use that because fakes smile hurt you more than not smiling at all.
8. Affirm Their Identity to Be More Likable ?
People will like you more when you see them as they want to be seen. If someone is an athlete, and that is how they seem themselves, you need to see them that way too. If you don't, it creates conflict. Here is what is strict about this, though, no one will say that. We don’t realize how much we build our identity in different things, and it sounds pathetic to admit.
The truth is that once you figure out what someone identifies with, you have to affirm them in that. If you don't, they may resent you. That resentment will not lead to being liked.
Be More Likeable ?
Is simple to understand but hard to put into practice. All the things listed above will make sense to you but will you do it? Being liked can be the difference between getting the job or not. It can be the difference between finding your spouse or staying single. We don’t want to be around people we don’t like so you must figure this out.