The one thing you can't avoid in life is having to deal with people. The best thing you can do is put the best people in your life. When the people you hang around are of high-quality, you get peace and harmony in return. But when you hang around too many fake people, your life can be filled with drama, and tension.
You need to know how to spot them quickly so that you can sever the chance of any relationship before it even starts. Once you become emotionally connected to someone and you consider them to be a friend, it can be much trickier to pull away.
“When you see the genuine, you don't deal with the fakes anymore.”
― Nima davani
What You Will Learn
Why You Want to Avoid Fake People
The problem with fake people is the emotional strain they put on you. You never know what you're dealing with when it comes to a fake person. One moment they seem one way, a week later they are a totally different person. You have to spend a lot of time and use too much emotional energy to try and keep up.
The second major issue with fake people is that you often think you are building deep relationships with them when you're not. They see you as an opportunity to move their life forward while you're looking to build a deeper relationship. In the end you're often left feeling alone, abused and taken advantage of.
11 Things Fake People Do
Often fake people violate multiple items on the list below. It does not make someone fake if they have done these things one time. It has to be a huge part of their personality and who they are to the point where they can't even get away from these behaviors.
1. They Try to Impress People In Power
Fake people don't respect everyone they come in contact with. They will often treat waiters like crap but will kiss the feet of someone they think can do something for them. They will change how they treat you based on their needs and how well you fit in their plans.
They will often go way out of their way to talk about people they know. Their sole purpose is to be associated with the most powerful people they know. Then they want to make sure that everyone knows who they know.
2. They Never Listen
Fake people are worried about themselves. They are on a mission to validate themselve and they can't do that if they are focused on you. The result is they don't listen.
They hear words so they can get the opportunity to say what they want to say. They want to control the narrative of every conversation so they feel powerful and so they can talk about things that will help them.
3. They Suppress True Emotions When It Makes Them Vulnerable
Fake people will never be caught feeling negative emotions like sadness, jealousy, envy, hurt, or anger. The goal of fake people is to show that they always can keep it together. They want to make it seem like nothing in life can bother them.
4. They Live On Extreme Moods
Fake people try and suppress their emotions but what they don't realize is that they are still super-emotional most of the time because they need to have the attention on them. Their behavior is always erratic and hard to be around.
5. They Put Others Down
Fake people can often be the loudest most ridiculous person in the room. They seem confident in themselves but they are often looking for validation from others.
They think the best way to get that validation is to be heard and show that they are on top. They put others down to build themselves up.
6. They Are Big Tim Gossipers
Fake people will talk to you about someone else behind their back and then go right to that person and talk about you behind their back. They constantly are looking to drag others down but its never done in a way to make the group better.
They Gossip so they can seem like they are always in the know and know more than others. Their gossip is juicy in the moment until you step back and think about how they talk about you...
7. Only Nice When They Want Something
Everyone knows people like this who are just not great people but when they want something they turn on an act to get what they need. These people can be the worst abusers on the planet but they see themselves as being helpful and loving to others.
These are the types of people who you never heard from but when you see hear your phone ringing and see their name, you know right away they need something. They hit you with a bunch of small talk to seem like they care, but they are just biding their time to get to their point.
8. They Boast In Themselves
Fake people never brag or praise others. Everything they do is about praising themselves or putting themselves in a better light. They don't want to see anyone else get any shine.
You get tired of hearing them talk because every chance they get, they bring up something they have done. If they can't be the focal point, they don't want to join the conversation.
9. They Try Hard to Get Everyone to Like Them
You can feel the desperation when you're around fake people. Its almost sad how bad they want to be seen and heard. They are willing to do anything in order to be seen in a favorable light by everyone.
10. They Are Hard to Count On But Expect You To Be Available
Fake people will demand you respond and be avaialbel for every crisis they have,. They are big deal so when anything small happens to them they bneed it to be a big deal for you too.
Problem is when you call on them or need them, they are no way to be found. They are not a real friend, they are someoen who loves how supportived you are but they have no idea how to provide that same support.
11. They Will Do Anything to Get Attention
Fake people don't have the confidence to be who they really are. They possibly don't know who they are as well. The only thing that brings them value is attention. For the moment that eyes on them, they are important and wanted.
11 Things Genuine People Do
1. They Respect Everyone
Do you ever notice how genuine people show respect for everyone? There is no need to be anyone different because they are good at their core. Everyone gets eye contact and their undivided attention no matter how much they make.
2. They Listen
Genuine people have a genuine desire to hear you out. Even if they are not the best listeners, they are willing to work at it. They want to make sure you feel heard.
3. They Know How to Be Vulnerable
Genuine people seek real relationships so they can reveal their emotions. They have no problem owning up to their mistakes. They can call themselves out but also be confident in their strengths.
4. They Emotionally Steady
Genuine people also know how to be consistent with their emotions. If they are a happy person, they are that way most of the time. They are not always changing who they are to match situations or who they want to manipulate.
5. They Build Others Up
Genuine people are sure of themselves, and they don't need to be better than others. They would rather be around people who are better than them.
They focus on building people up around them. If they give a discouraging word, its to help and always is followed with a real name to help pick people up.
6. Refrain From Gossip
Anyone can be enticed by gossip, but genuine people look to stop or feel guilt and work hard to quit the next time. Gossip never sits right in the hearts of honest people.
7. Very Rarely Ask for Favors
Fake people always want to know what they can get. Genuine people are great to be around because they look to give. And that is the very reason that fake people love hanging around them.
When genuine people ask for favors, ask for favors people almost always say yes because they have given so many times before they ask for anything in return
8. They Boast In Something Bigger
While the arrogant boast in themselves, the wise know they can't do it alone. If you are a believer, you boast in Jesus because he is more significant than anything here that you can face.
If you don't believe in God, you still boast in your team or the work of others and what they have done to help you. When things go wrong, you take the blame, when they go well you pass the credit.
9. They Stick to Who They Are
Being genuine allows you to be rock steady. There is no faking because you're ok with people not liking you. You would hate for someone to love you for acting like someone else.
10. Can Always Count On Them
You can't ever count on a fake person because they don't care. Genuine people care a lot, and they are willing to lay down their desires to help other people most of the time. They have some of the most loyal friends because they were there for years when most needed.
11. They Will Speak With Their Gifts
It's not that genuine people never want the spotlight; they let the results do the talking. They are not the loudest person or begging people to look at them. Instead, they get the promotion or that opportunity because they let the results talk.
They lean into their talents and gifts. They focus on what they can do and make sure they are prepared to be their best.
6 Ways to Deal With Fake People
Now you know what some fake relationships may look like, and you also know what healthy ones look like. Now it's essential you know what you can do to deal with the fake people in your life. If you continue to hang around these people knowing they are not good, it won't be long before being fake.
1. Keep Healthy Boundaries
Maybe there are certain places that you always see a specific person. Stop going to those places or find ways to keep a healthy distance from that person. You don't need to be rude, but you do need to be distant.
2. Don't Invest Yourself Emotionally
The worst thing you can do with a fake person is to invest yourself emotionally with them. Don't build deep ties, get to know their families, or do anything else that can create an emotional bond. The more you do, the harder it is to turn away.
3. Have Empathy for Their Internal Issues
You may not agree with what they do, but you can have empathy for their pain. Maybe they were neglected or felt unloved as a child, which is why they feel the need to be so fake. You can feel for someone but not excuse their actions.
4. If They Go Low You Go High
If they have done something to low blow you and are deeply offended, you can still choose the high road. Remember that through interactions with a fake person, you should never steep down to their level.
5. Be Honest
At some point, someone needs to be the brave soul to tell them the truth. 100's of other people know the truth. There is a chance that no one has ever tried to say to them how fake they are. It may be a tough conversation, but you can know that you tried your best.
6. Be More Self Aware
Let this be a warning to you to be more aware of your actions and how they affect others. Too many people lack self-awareness, and they become blind to their folly. Being more self-aware will help you not to become a fake person.
Don't be fake and don't hang around any phonies. One of the easiest and to lose all your joy is to spend too much time around users to gossip and act differently than they are. It will sap you of everything you.
When or if you have genuinely good people in your life, you need to be thankful and cherish. It's not easy to come by trustworthy people who will hold you down through anything.