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There is no true joy in life with some appreciation for yourself. That appreciation may not always be love, but you can work overtime to ensure that it becomes love. People throw the term around to love yourself so much now, but there is not enough context given in terms of why it's important.

Few people outright tell others that they don’t like themselves. People rarely call out the many insecurities they have because its easier to hide and stay with them than to bring them to the light.

When you don’t love yourself properly, you will have a hard time finding it to love others or accept love from others. If you can’t love you, the assumption you will have is that the love others have for you must be fake. I hope that this article has been a blessing to you.

I wrote it with nothing but love because chasing a dream is the hardest thing you will ever do. When you add a spouse into that mix, it gets exponentially harder if you are not on the same page. Suppose you are on the same page though it can be beautiful to build an empire together.

“Eat like you love yourself. Move like you love yourself. Speak like you love yourself. Act like you love yourself.”

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What You Will Learn in This Article

Why This Is Important Now More Than Ever

You are more exposed to the realities of mental health problems because of social media. Never has there been a time in history where you can be so connected to what other people are doing worldwide as you can right now. You can do it in real-time as well. Before, you were only aware of what is going on in your community. Being exposed to other people allows you to hear the opinions of others much quicker and more frequently. You can make a comparison between yourself and others, and it can be exhausting.

Mark 12:31 say The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

The problem with this verse is that it’s assumed that you love yourself. One of the greatest commandments we have is to love our neighbor, but that can only come if we love ourselves. If you hate yourself, you will struggle to love your neighbor and live up to one of the greatest commandments in the bible.

The third area that this will cause issues is when it comes time to accept love from others. It’s hard to be in romantic relationships when you don’t love yourself. You either end up depending on another person to fill you up more than any imperfect human can. Or you can’t accept their love at all because it does not make sense to you how someone can even love you. You will not trust them or wait for them to hurt you because there is no way another person can be good. You will look for ways to destroy the relationship without self-love.

  • You are more exposed than ever to things that contribute to unhappiness
  • You can't love your neighbor without loving yourself first 
  • If you don't love yourself its hard to accept love 

Why Self Love Seems to Be Selfish

You know when you’re on airplanes and are saying that if the masks drop down in an emergency, you should put on your mask before a child’s or before you assist someone else? This is one of the least selfless acts you can do if you’re taking care of someone else, but it may not appear this way. 

It may not seem awesome at first because you think it would be better to help them out and make sure they are good. The problem with this is that if you end up passing out due to lack of oxygen, the people you’re assisting won’t help you, so you both will die.

The best thing you can do is take care of yourselfEven the most selfless person knows that they have to take care of themselves or burn out. Think of the mom who spends all day taking care of her three kids but never has time for herself. Eventually, she will blow because she is not taking care of herself, and at that point, she won’t do an excellent job of caring for the kids either. 

Everyone needs to step back and spend some time keep their physical and mental health in check. If you don’t take care of yourself, it will end up turning into more selfish behavior.

You can go overboard with self-care, but most people are far from this. Self-love only becomes a problem if it is regularly putting those you love or should be looking out for in the worst position.

  • You must take care of yourself in order to help others better 
  • If you only focus on others you eventually burn out
  • Its possible to go over-board with self love 

Benefits of Self Love

  • Able to tolerated your weaknesses
  • Increase self-confidence
  • Less people pleasing
  • Ability to forgive yourself and others
  • Not expecting others to save you
  • Ability to discover your destiny
  • Improved relationships
  • Better love life
  • More authentic connections with people
  • Much better mental health
  • Improved coping mechanisms

Tips to Love Yourself 

Spend Time With Just Yourself

Alone time is so important on the path to learning to love yourself. If you always need input and validation from other people, it’s a sign that you need more time to learn to love yourself. Alone time is a great way to get to learn about you and understand what you need before you try and learn about others. 

Point Out Lies

There are so many lies that you have bought into throughout your life. These lies build up for so long that you can’t tell the difference between the truth and a lie anymore. Its time to go through all your negative self-beliefs and point out which ones someone else put in your head that is not true. Call it out for the lie that it is and begin to forgive yourself for every believing it.

Positive Self-Talk

Most of the time, when you lack love for yourself, you also partake in a lot of negative self-talk. There is a difference between being realistic and beating yourself up for no reason. When you talk harmful to yourself, you are inflicting wounds that are much more harmful than anything another person could say to you because these wounds are coming from your mind. When other people are mean, it requires you to allow those words into your mind and to believe them. One of the easiest ways to love yourself is to speak to yourself with loving language. Think about how a loving parent would speak to a child vs. an abusive one.

Release The anger

You can lose the love for yourself when you go through something hard or traumatic. Maybe it starts as anger with another person, and that turns to anger with yourself. As that anger builds, it can turn to digest and other emotions that horrible to harbor. You must take steps towards letting that anger going and forgiving the right people.

Seek Out Happy People 

People who are happy with life tend to know how to love themselves better. The more you can be around people like this, the more their behaviors will rub off. The worst thing you can do is be around other groups of people who struggle in this area because everyone will bring each other down further.

Take Your Foot off of The Gas 

Sometimes you can’t understand how to love yourself better because life is just moving too fast. You have kids, bills, and responsibilities all built up on your back, keeping you on the move. When you take a day or two to step back and think, you will start to see solutions to many of these issues.

Treat Yourself

Taking care of yourself can look different for everyone. Some may go to the spa, while others will want to shop. Either do things that remind you that you’re valuable. If a car costs a lot, you pay more to insure it and protect it. If your life is valuable, you should spend whatever is needed to do the same.

Change how You Perceive Your Flaws

You have chosen to look at your flaws in a certain negative way. If you can do that, you can also want to see your weaknesses in a positive light. Nothing is 100% negative. There has to be some positive in everything, and you need to find that. When you can focus on the positive of your flaws, you start to use them to your advantage.

Stand Up For Yourself 

One of the telltale signs that someone does not have enough self-love is if they allow another person to walk all over them repeatedly. When you have a healthy amount of love for yourself, and you’re not scared to express that, you won’t let people take advantage of you because you know how valuable you are.

Go Love Yourself The Right Way

To love yourself is to respect yourself. If you can't grasp it, you invite struggles with your romantic relationships and struggle to accept others' love. It does not make one selfish to take care of themselves; it is unselfish in the long run because you can better serve others over the long term.

The process of learning to love yourself is not something that happens overnight. It will take time to heal old wounds and get to the heart of some of these issues. Every second you spend working on this, though, will be worth it.

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