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“There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.” — Ron Swanson. Here are 28 Best Ron Swanson Quotes.

Ron Swanson Quotes

1.” Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.” - Ron Swanson

2. “If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.”- Ron Swanson

3. “When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”- Ron Swanson

4. “That is a canvas sheet, the most versatile object known to man. It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art.”- Ron Swanson

5. “I prefer quality over flash – that’s why I refuse to write my signature in cursive.”- Ron Swanson

6. “I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.”- Ron Swanson

7. “If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.”- Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson Quotes

8. “Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.”- Ron Swanson

9. “I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 mins.”- Ron Swanson

10. “Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait … I worry what you heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”- Ron Swanson

11. “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.”- Ron Swanson

12. “Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.”- Ron Swanson

13. “Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie.”- Ron Swanson

14. “The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”- Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson Quotes

15. “Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.”- Ron Swanson

16. “Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.”- Ron Swanson

17.”In my opinion, not enough people have looked their dinner in the eyes and considered the circle of life.”- Ron Swanson

18. ” My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe…when he desires them.”- Ron Swanson

19. “When I eat, it is the food that is scared.”- Ron Swanson

20. “I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible.”- Ron Swanson

21. “Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.”- Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson Quotes

22. “If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.”- Ron Swanson

23. “I like saying ‘No,’ it lowers their enthusiasm.”- Ron Swanson

24.” There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.”- Ron Swanson

25. “Breakfast food can serve many purposes.”- Ron Swanson

26. “One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”- Ron Swanson

27. “When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”- Ron Swanson

28. “I was born ready. I’m Ron Fucking Swanson.”- Ron Swanson

Best Ron Swanson Quotes

“I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win, and when I don’t, I get furious.”- Ron Swanson

“It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.”- Ron Swanson

“Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.”- Ron Swanson

Ian Warner

About the author

I went from a broken leg to a 2012 Olympian. I have spent the last 15 years building positive habits as a track athlete and entrepreneur. I founded Habit Stacker and dedicated my life to helping people to develop winning habits. I have helped over 5,000 people...

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